Texas Rainmaker
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April 20th, 2004 8:30 am

Kerry campaign hires new Communications Director

While affectionately referring to him as “Minister”, the Kerry campaign has introduced a familiar face to its campaign in the hope of bringing a fresh perspective to the campaign trail. Kerry said of the new director, “We brought him on board for his uncanny ability to convince the world of facts that do no exist, circumstances that are totally opposite of reality and his knack for understanding that his side can never lose, even if they do.”

You may recognize some of his more famous quotes:

“Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don’t even control themselves!”

“The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call … stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies.”

“They’re coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks.”

“There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!”

Without further ado, may we introduce the new Director of Communications for the Kerry Campaign:

“Minister of Information, Baghdad Bob”

“There are no Republican infidels in the White House, ” Bob said, “”the American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies! We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by winning elections and trying to do the will of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards. God will roast their stomachs in hell.”

Hey, at least he’s going to elevate the dialogue of the Kerry campaign.

Posted by TexasRainmaker |
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