From Central Florida News 13:

Big NASA Announcement Today

NASA is planning to make a huge announcement today, about possible life in our own solar system.

Exact details of what we can expect to hear have not been released. We do know that evidence has been found that could point to life relatively close to the earth.

Official word is expected this afternoon at 2 p.m.

If it’s intelligent life, at least this would offset the lack of such in parts of our own planet, like Hollywood, San Francisco and much of New York City.

Update: Correction: Apparently there is no intelligent life to be found… and not just in Democrat strongholds.