From the Houston Chronicle:

DOHA, Qatar - Chess’ world governing body will introduce dope testing at the Asian Games this week, although the sport’s top official in Doha said he had no idea how drugs could enhance chess performance.
…
Drug testing is the latest move by the World Chess Federation to raise international standards in the hope of making chess an Olympic sport in the future.

I’m curious just which drugs enhance the play of Chess.

From SportingLife.com:

A darts player has tested positive for drugs for the first time and been banned for eight weeks.

Robbie Green, nicknamed ‘Kong’, tested positive for marijuana after giving a sample at the UK Open in Bolton in June. He has been suspended for eight weeks and two days by the Darts Regulation Authority.

Darts only introduced drug-testing this year and Green’s was only the eighth test of a darts player by anti-doping agency UK Sport.

And I thought his new physique was just from all that beer.

What’s worse? That there exists a professional league for parlor and board games? Or that they’re conducting drug testing on their “athletes”?

It’s this week’s sign the apocalypse is upon us.