Apparently he watched a college football game this weekend and thereby qualified to win the coveted award.

Rumor has it he may be taking the family to a movie this week… so stay tuned for news of his Academy Award.

Someone once remarked that the United States would have a black president “when pigs fly”…
.
…and 100 days into Barack Obama’s presidency:

An oldie but a goodie…

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the Republican party.”

Scientists are claiming to have successfully mixed human and animal DNA:

A team at Newcastle University announced yesterday that it had successfully generated “admixed embryos” by adding human DNA to empty cow eggs in the first experiment of its kind in Britain.

TexasRainmaker has obtained an exclusive photo of the resulting creature… and it ain’t pretty.

According to ABC, Rosie O’Donnell has launched a Presidential Exploratory Committee in the first step to entering the 2008 Presidential campaign.

NEW YORK — With a single sheet of paper, actress and entertainer Rosie O’Donnell, took a major step Saturday toward launching an historic official bid for the U.S. Presidency.

Ms. O’Donnell filed the necessary paperwork to form an exploratory committee for a possible run for the office of President. The committee will allow her to raise and spend money for the Democratic nomination. If she runs, she would become the first lesbian to seek public office.

“This morning, I filed a statement of organization with the Federal Election Commission to establish the Rosie O’Donnell for President Exploratory Committee,” said campaign spokesman Timothy Wolfson.

O’Donnell was not present for the five-minute filing at the commission in Washington, but 15 news cameras made sure the event was recorded.

Monday, Ms. O’Donnell will begin a four-day swing across central and eastern New York. The entertainer’s trip is the kickoff of what aides are billing as a summer-long “truth tour” by Ms. O’Donnell.

Lawyers for The View strongly urged Ms. O’Donnell to form the committee to address ethical questions about engaging in political activity on her television show. Ms. O’Donnell’s campaign-like rants have been criticized due to the use of public airwaves.

“Over the next months Ms. O’Donnell will travel throughout the state, meeting with New Yorkers in small groups and revealing evidence that proves 9/11 was an inside job and Osama bin Laden is just ‘misunderstood’,” Wolfson said. “Rosie O’Donnell is eager to begin this tour and looks forward to telling New Yorkers about these issues that concern her.”

Elena Doyle, who runs a bakery and Italian specialty store in Oneonta, is one who will meet O’Donnell and says Ms. O’Donnell is the “kind of lesbian I’d vote for.”

Whether she’ll actually reach typical voters is difficult to tell. More than 200 reporters are expected to tag along on Ms. O’Donnell’s tour.

The GOP immediately attacked Ms. O’Donnell on Saturday as too liberal. “What makes her think by bringing that extreme brand of liberalism of hers to the Presidential race that it’s going to be successful?” the Chairman said. “They’ve seen that, they’ve tried it, it failed before and she will fail too.”

O’Donnell responded by saying she’d pull a new style of campaigning out of the closet.

Read more at ABC.com

…the jokes just write themselves.

Study finds one-third in D.C. illiterate:

About one-third of the people living in the national’s capital are functionally illiterate, compared with about one-fifth nationally, according to a report on the District of Columbia.

Adults are considered functionally illiterate if they have trouble doing such things as comprehending bus schedules, reading maps and filling out job applications.

…but don’t worry, they’ll be fine as long as they can read a teleprompter, pander for votes and steal your money.

The District of Columbia Chamber of Commerce, which contributed to the report, said the city lost up to $107 million in taxes annually between 2000 and 2005 because of a lack of qualified job applicants.

Funny, because the rest of the country lose billions in taxes annually because of a few people who are employed.

This is pretty mean… but I bet many of you try it.

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